THIS CONTENT IS SPONSORED BY PRUDENTIAL
Creating a budget, erasing debt, determining where money will be spent, and discussing finances can be exhausting for couples and families.
Spouses combining finances can often face obstacles, whether the marriage is new or seasoned. It’s been reported that many couples frequently identify money as their greatest relationship hurdle.
On the other hand, leniency, tolerance, and confidence are effective approaches that help couples amicably talk about money.
Being candid about those matters can enable you to make better decisions and avoid clashes. That process can facilitate conversations sooner and help develop a strategy that builds on transparency, trust, and consideration that reflects the mutual needs of both spouses.
It has been widely revealed that discussing money matters is vital for couples. The absence of those conversations can lead to tension, discomfort, and larger problems later.
To assist in dealing with such issues, BLACK ENTERPRISE caught up with Daron Pressley and Kimo Bentley. They are an entrepreneurial married couple with children. Pressley is a former Fortune 500 sales and marketing executive, branding strategist, consultant, and writer. He previously helped develop the BE Modern Man campaign, now known as the Black Men XCEL Summit.
Bentley is the owner/founder of Kimo Bentley Aesthetic Clinic and Kimo Bentley Academy, a nonprofit that empowers young entrepreneurs. She has been in the beauty and aesthetic space for 22 years, educating people, including men and women of color and others to care for their skin.
The husband-and-wife team shared how they came together to manage their finances and offered insight and advice that people may do well to consider when trying to do the same.
STARTING THE CONVERSATION EARLY ON AND CONTINUING IT IS VITAL
A good start for couples is breaking the ice by having financial conversations with each other and their families. Daron pointed out that we all carry baggage at the beginning of a relationship. “OK, how do we unpack those bags?”
He suggested getting outside on a nice day and going for a walk, possibly making the pressure of talking about finances less threatening.
“It may not seem as complicated when you’re walking through the mall, and it’s Christmastime, and you’re saying, “What do you think we should spend for our daughter this Christmas? How much do you think would be a good amount to spend? That alone can start a conversation about finances.”
Starting out, creating financial goals was a huge challenge for Daron and Kimo. For her take, Kimo advised focusing on the future and discussing shared goals like buying a house, a retirement plan, and a big vacation. “One of the easiest things that we started a conversation on is creating a goal sheet, noting the couple has a sheet that’s like 100 goals. “No matter how ridiculous they may seem, just write as many goals as you can think about.”
Kimo stressed that she’s not talking about just right now but about the next five or 10 years. “We would do the goal setting, and that would help open that conversation to the financial aspects of the relationship.”
Daron says the pair had those conversations early on, and it was also more about, “All right, if we’re planning to come together, live our life together, build a family together, and build a business together and just build our skillsets and develop, what are some of our goals that we have? If we have certain goals financially, how are we going to achieve these goals?”
“Money is major because it’s a tool that we can utilize to get to certain goals that we have, also a tool that we can utilize to give back, to help.”
Discussing specific money matters has worked as well. Kimo says, “We even do that up until this day, write the goals and then say, “OK. How much money are we looking at?” How much money we’re talking about? That’s where we can continue to dive deeper into that.”
Kimo added that inquiring about things like “How do you feel about A, B, C, and D?” can make relating to somebody else easier and gentler than demanding someone do this or that. “Ask open-ended questions, and that makes a lighthearted conversation and less conflict.”
COMMUNICATING ON TOPICS LIKE CREDIT CAN BE GAME-CHANGING
Another key point Daron and Kimo discussed was credit. In general, having good credit is important as it can influence whether you and your partner get approved for financing to buy a home, secure credit cards, and have capital to fund a business.
Kimo revealed she lived without credit for a long time, choosing to be debt-free by paying for everything in full. But she changed her stance after she and Daron connected, and they started talking about it. She now understands the importance of credit. Conversely, Daron’s background helped him learn how essential good credit would be for the pair together and Kimo individually.
“I knew that credit was going to be a critical thing for her when looking to grow her business,” he says, “mentioning the significance of outside financing like bank loans or business loan funding. “I also knew that she would have to have a good credit score to be able to get those loans or to get the funding that she would need to continue to build the business.”
MANEUVERING SHARED VALUES CAN LEAD TO STRONGER RELATIONSHIPS
Daron and Kimo uphold that they also chatted about shared values in their quest together and with their families. The discussions include how they want their children to live and grow up. And what they want their children to know about finances is talked about. Daron mentioned that the couple discusses everything, including what they agree or disagree on. “It’s not about who’s right, but about what’s going to work for us and the goals we have laid out.”
1084297-00001-00